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Sunday, April 16, 2006 

A Typical Day

6:00 am: Wake the slave
6:01 am: Nag the slave as she stumbles blindly in the general direction of the kitchen, just in case today is the one day that she forgets that I'm here.
6:02 am: Attempt to trip up the slave as she stumbles towards my food bowl with catfood in hand
6:03 am: Finally! Breakfast! You just can't get good service anymore.
6:10 am: I disappear through the cat door for ablutions. Or that's what I tell her.
6:30 am: I return to take up my space on the sofa. Then (providing my rest isn't disturbed) I settle in for a powernap.
9:00 am: Ablutions - chat/hiss/fight with the neighbour's cat - what was it doing in my yard, anyway?
9:30 am: Topup powernap
1:00 pm: If the slave hasn't gone out to earn money for catfood, nag her a little, just to see if I can get some more food because she feels slightly guilty for leaving me to my own devices while she works.
1:15 pm: Check the perimeter. That stupid cat next door just doesn't learn!
1:25 pm: (If home) go sit next to slave and be just remote enough that she has to make an effort to bend down or reach across to me and scratch me under the chin or between the ears. I reward her with a purr or two.
1:45 pm: More napping required. This breathing and walking is tough work.
2:45 pm: Wake and check for more food. Check again. Nag a little.
3:15 pm: Ablutions, followed by another nap.
4:45 pm: Wake and check for food. If it's not there, start nagging. Progress to yowling. Does anyone know what "Not now, Friday!" means, anyway?
5:00 pm: Oh, bliss! Oh, joy! There's fooooood in my bowl.. and on my nose because I couldn't wait for it to be over before I got stuck in!
5:15 pm: Wind myself around the slave's legs as an acknowledgment of my gratitude. She trips. Does anyone know what "Damnit, Friday, get out of the kitchen!" means?
6:00 pm: I take off to an undisclosed location, and don't head back to the house until it starts to get a little chilly, say around ..
7:00 pm: More sleep.. usually on the sofa again, but if there are people around, the bed in the spare room is an excellent substitute and the duvet cover looks amazing with that sheen of cat hair. It lends texture to the design.
10:00 pm: wOOt!! Party time! Later, taters!!

Hello, Friday!

You seem to have a good life.

We have many mice in our kitchen these days. My father-in-law sets traps for them and catches one every day.

I'd much rather have a nice kitty do the job because (a) I love kitties and (b) I really don't like mousetraps.

But then there's the matter of our 100 pound dog. She would like you a lot but would probably scare the dickens out of you.

Nevertheless, I'd be happy to provide a first-class ticket for you to Chicago if you'll take the job.

LOL! Hi!
I'm sure she'd take the job, too.. if she realised what was in it for her. But I want to keep her to myself, so I'm not telling!

PS.. the dog probably wouldn't faze her particularly. She's a hard-case cat..

The Slave

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  • I'm Kafaleni
  • From Christchurch, New Zealand
  • I'm weird. That's all you need to know. If you decide you want to stick around, grab a beanbag, a drink, and sit on down!
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